I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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