Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize