I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
