Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
