Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
