Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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