Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
