You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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