the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Someone came in the potted fern
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
