I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
