As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
