if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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