she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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