Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
