shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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