Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My hand turned me down
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
