Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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