she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
