Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
