I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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