it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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