Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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