super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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