is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
