It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
a search helicopter?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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