I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
