i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
should my penis look like a turkey
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
