I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
