he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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