she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
