I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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