He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize