I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
