I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize