just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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