girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
