Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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