I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
