if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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