i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
