You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
