It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
