Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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