The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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