Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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