I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
