Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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