Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
