I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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