You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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