Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
