Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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