I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
