break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
