Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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