I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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