Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
