dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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