Only a mothe r could love this liver
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
