worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize