i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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