Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
