Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
