p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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