worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize