i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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