Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize