u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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