I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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