great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pop tarts are not kleenex
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
