I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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