So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
