You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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