...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
