we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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