If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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