she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
