I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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