i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Are we in a gay sports bar?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
