Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
